+after that it got colder, the world got quiet, it was never quite day or quite night, and the sea turned the color of sky turned the color of sea turned the color of ice

I used to really hate winter. How my hands would become stiff and painful when I would drive. The way I felt like hibernating, eating too much, feeling constricted, and constantly shivering. I used to love the heat, the ability to move easily, to wear shorts and flip flops, and to see a world full of green and color.

I realized during this (my first midwestern) winter, that my hatred for the cold and winter came from the fact that I used to think that socks were an option in Alabama. I believed that thin fleece gloves would be enough to walk through the cold. I never wore a hat for fear of messing up my hair, and I believed that putting on a scarf would do the trick to warm me up. Once I learned from the Minnesotan and the South Dakotan that hats keep your heat it, socks (and really, boots too!) are not really optional items, mittens (not gloves) keep your hand the warmest, I can finally truly appreciate the cold (snow, ice).

And with appreciating it and not wishing it's departure every day, I have come to fall in love with the symbolism that I used to scoff. While the trees are bare, the sky is gray, and the colors are not as vibrant as they could be, it IS a time of regrowth from the inside out. I can feel my mind and spirit doing the very same right now - growing roots deeper into who I am and sorting my thoughts out more and more. Winter celebration is just a little more somber and humbling than Spring and Summer, but no less important.

It's a beautiful Winter.

+building walls 1,000 miles high

"Don't let the things you hold on to ever outnumber the things you let go.
Don't let the things you remember ever outnumber the things you live for."
-Toyko! by Josh Ritter

Oh, a Josh Ritter concert. I have been waiting for ever, so long = this long ago!

Liberty Hall
Lawrence, KS
February 18, 2011

Come and Find me (acoustic)
Good Man
Lillian Egypt
Southern Pacific
Folk Blood Bath (perfect)
Empty Hearts
Snow is Gone (People like this song more in places it actually snows...)
Real Long Distance
Rattling Locks
Harrisburg (with Cover of Modest Mouse's Tiny Cities Made of Ashes)
The Curse (in the dark)
You Don't Make It Easy Babe
Gallahad
Thin Blue Flame (in the dark)
Cover: The Pale Blue Eyes by the Velvet Underground
Rumors
Right Moves
Kathleen
Lantern
Change of Time (with "Rough seas they carry me" repeated

Encore:
Lawrence, KS
Cover: The Everly Brothers - Stories We Could Tell (with Scott Hutchinson)
To the Dogs or Whoever

+turn the light out say goodnight, no thinking for a little while

Things that fill up my days... some distractions, some necessary.

Books that make me a better person. Journaling, also known as a place to spew all the thoughts I don't fee like making people listen to just yet!

Nashville, TN. Thoughts of the city. Thoughts of the people who live there. Thoughts about how to travel there cheaply. Thoughts about when the next time I get to will be.

Coffee. Anytime. All the time. Einstein's Bros is quite good. So is (insert list of the other 20 places I enjoy getting coffee from) and typically whatever comes with it... talking, reading, writing, reading, talking and so on.

Grad school reading. Journals, textbooks, and everything related to everything Higher Education.

Sorry grad school, Harry Potter is more entertaining sometimes. Sometimes (most times) it wins. It's the soul food of literature... good for: bad moods, cold days, times when you need some familiarity.

Working out. Lifting weights, cardio, yoga, stretching. The only thing in my life I feel like is constant about my daily routine (chalk it up to Residence Life).

Working (aka "Meetings"). And subsequently the hourly (and half-hourly) planner. The greatest gift to mankind. Ever.

The Decemberists, lately. And all those others below it. And more.

All this caption should say is "Bane of My Free Time," ahh, Amazon Kindle.

+raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice

My mentality/philosophy on being out in the cold hasn't changed much...in decades.

+to the heartbeat of a lark or the lark in my heartbeat

Quotes I appreciate from class readings for my Student Affairs Administration in Higher Ed. class this week. A little bit on the boring side for most, but I love the idea that the profession I am in not only encourages initial preparation, but also ongoing education and commitment. Loyalty, consistency, knowledge.

"Student Affairs workers owe it to their clients to have engaged in appropriate professional education and preparation and to continue this education as long as they practice" -Carpenter

"Professionalism means committing to the profession, students, and institutions with whom we work and being competent and engaged in the work we do." -Jan Arminio

+and the future hangs over our heads, and it moves with each current event

If I viewed my life as a big book with lots of chapters and pages, I feel like I would put a bookmark in today's page and label it with "Don't Forget."

I realized something that I already sort of new, but discovered it in a new way tonight - the importance of friends that understand and connect with me intellectually. (Nix that... I discovered this with a friend of mine, I shouldn't take all the credit.) But what a breath of fresh air to banter and discuss life and all its complexities and world issues and academia and life purposes with someone who cares to discuss it, too! And furthermore, someone who is open, willing, reflective, and just as high energy as yourself?

It is so rare to be supported in such a genuine way. To have relationships in my life who look at me and say, "You're capable. You're smart. You're enough." Oh, how much we all need to hear those words, and more than likely do not hear them...ever. I need to tie a ribbon around my finger and remember to tell others that, because when someone says it to me, it just affirms me on my journey, especially in the land of grad school.

+don't carry it all, don't carry it all. we are all our hands and holders, beneath this bold and brilliant sun, and this i swear to all

I love the sound of giggling up and down the halls of my buildings. Love, love, in more ways than I know how to express. I don't know how I will ever live off-campus. I mean, I do. But I'll miss this.

These past two days have been snow days here at the ole KU. And every moment of being here in the hall and stuck from going elsewhere has been a learning experience for me. Not only do I love the chance to get to stay in my pajamas all day long, but the idea of eating every single meal with 50 students? What a dream job, I have. Seriously though... conversations and lingering and laughing and... time.

As I was sitting, thinking about what this job really is, it is one that I never want to give up. I have the distinct privilege of living and working in sync with my students who are constantly being shaped by the classes they are taking and the experiences they are having. At some point in time they will look back at the picture they are taking with one another and the freedom they have and pine for the days of their youth, so to speak. I cannot believe I get to see them develop into leaders and professionals...the time when they are debating which political theory to believe... and what ideas of spirituality and religion they decide to adhere to.

I am terrified by my job, though. What if I advise someone wrong? What if what I say something stupid? What if I am not around enough? What if I don't care enough? What if I don't connect in a genuine way and someone drops out of school... or worse... leaves this university with the same view and perspective they came in with?

Who knows what this next year and half will bring. I know I need to live in the moment though. I know that I love reading about student development theory so far this semester. How it applies to my students is too cool. There we go. I think I have landed on terminology that finally describes this all well... too cool.

+gonna take my cares, gonna carry my cares away

I went to a professional development day today for my job, and one of the sessions I chose to attend was one on the possibility of starting a staff-writing guild - to write about what we want, to write about our profession, to... simply... write. It was neat to talk, cross-generationally, about what writing means to us, why we want to write, why we would write together, why we would sharpen one another.

We did a writing exercise together. I felt empowered. I felt like I fit in. I should have taken a writing class at Belmont. Why did I not realize how awe-inspiring writing, whether that be technical, or blogging, or journaling, or for school could be until now?

Reading and writing for a living? Yes. And then talks over coffee. Looks like someone (it's me!) wants to stay in college forever.

+roll away your stone, i'll roll away mine, together we can see what we can find

I woke up this morning to this..

So I'm thankful I bought this...

 So that I can avoid that first picture and read these...

 

And these (notice the techonological savvy... that's right folks, an e-book textbook...)

 

Happy Snow Day! And Happy 6 month anniversary to Me & The State of Kansas!

+and i hope by thy good pleasure safely to arrive at home

"Somewhere we know that without silence, words lose their meaning. That without listening, speaking no longer heals. That without distance, closeness cannot cure" -Henri Nouwen

Distance makes the heart grow fonder.... and more impatient. I am enjoying the busyness that comes with being back to being an employee and student and friend, but with Devon working a church retreat this week and me being busy with transitioning, there is that achey feeling that settles in of just wishing to be back to the way things were in Nashville. Long walks, car drives, meals, hours...time... just time with one another. It is all gone when you decide to move across the country. Oh, the moments we wish to speed past... they're the ones we always want back.