+time grabs you by the wrist; directs you where to go

My "tour" of the south/midwest/ish/areas that has been Fall 2009 has ended...well, almost! I'm sitting here in Birmingham, AL at home on the living room couch. Anticipating another 3 hour trip back to Nashville and then I should be stationary for almost a month, which in this whirlwind of a semester is an epic feat. I think I have reached the point of getting sick of the thought of driving (however, all of it has been more than worth it). I loved that visiting Beth and Drew in Lousiville these past couple of days brought much cooler weather. I want it to get really cold - then I can believe that it is time for Advent once again.

These next couple of weeks I'm planning on being full of friends and food and work, but seeing as how I have never had a semester where I have graduated, I have no clue what to expect. I DO know that I love buying things for the new apartment. I love it even MORE when people have random household things to give me that they do not need like toasters and tables and vacuums and old pots and pans. I am so excited that my apartment will be a mixture of old and new and temporary and permanent. Who knew that one day I would own things like can openers and colanders and mixing bowls and apple corers? I feel grown up simply because of these things! Ha!

Tomorrow marks the first day of the traditional Advent season. I am so excited to spend this time preparing for Christ's birth. Each day will be it's very own journey until December 25th. Prayers prayers prayers.

"Hey man, do you think we'll ever get back home? Well I guess we choose our battles one by one. How I need rest, one more day of travel on the road. How we've been blessed, some times I don't feel that way. Nothing's gonna change my mind, I'm walkin' a different highway, nothing's gonna change my mind, I'm travelin a different line. Oh, nothing's gonna change my mind, you'll find what you need if you want it. Nothing's gonna change my mind, I'll find mine. Brothers yes I know I'm up and down. Please, try to accept apologies for the sadness I've found. The years we've spent - nothing short of grateful for our trip and those we've met. Nothing short of thankful." -The Avett Brothers

+facing forwards going slowly, waitin for you to show me

Annnnd some pictures to go along with the previous post:

+did you know how you would move me? well, i don't even think so

"Can you believe that ___ days ago..." has been the over-repeated phrase all weekend long. Last Thursday evening Devon and I headed for the great state of Kansas with a stop at a friend's house to sleep in St. Louis. We managed to get up and drive away from the sunrise on our was to Lawrence, KS, and arrive just before my day of meetings and campus tours began on Friday at the University of Kansas.

What a weekend! I was given a lovely on-campus apartment to stay in complete with linens, kitchen, two bedrooms, and lovely hardwood floors. My meetings went well - I learned so much about the university in just a morning and afternoon's time. There are so many aspects of the university that appeal to me especially how hilly the campus is (no joke, I really like it).

After all of our Friday festivities, we decided to drive back an hour to Kansas City, MO for a barbeque dinner and the Get Up Kids concert. As we drove we said "Can you believe that yesterday we were still in Nashville in classes?" and "Can you believe that this morning we were driving into Lawrence?" or "Can you believe that in 5 days we'll be home for Thanksgiving?" Kansas City was awesome and the small concert was such a neat experience.

Saturday morning I took a long walk down to the Farmer's Market and despite how small it was I really enjoyed hearing about what the farms are like in the Lawrence area and what kind of people live in town. After obtaining some pears and homemade bread it was time to go to a big Mass. Street breakfast at Milton's. We went with Oliver Hughes, who used to go to Belmont and was/is one of Devon's good friends. I am still craving some granola or french toast or the endless amount of coffee we had.

Saturday was lazy (as needed) and exploring everything really was fascinating. There is something to be said for actually visiting a place you may or may not be for the next couple of years of life. Questions like "where would I fit in?", "what would I be interested in?", "what would I be involved in?", and "what would my life look like here?" were constantly floating around in my head.

So much thinking. After a 10 hour drive back to Nashville yesterday, I'm still saying "Can you believe that 4 days ago we had not experienced any of this?" and "Can you believe that in 2 days I'll be on the road to Lousiville?"

Where does the time go? Am I ready? What are the criteria of making my decision? Why do I have more and more questions the older I get?

+and when we find ourselves in the place just right, we will be in the valley of love and delight

"They" say that you go through the most formative change while you are in college. Where you are mentally and emotionally as an entering freshman is so drastically different from where you end up as you make your exit senior year. Sometimes I feel like I'm being ripped out of college instead of naturally leaving. (My choice, I know!) I don't like that time and standards can define us. I know that I am creating my own story and my own journey with every step I take and that no two stories are just alike.

I finally feel like I am understanding that my life is not going to look like someone else's and if someone expects it to, they are mistaken, not me. I read through my journal that I started when I was a freshmen and reading through things really made me smile. I have been immature, stupid, forgetful, dramatic, kind, generous, understanding bitter, in awe, rebellious, a good friend, a bad friend, and so on, and I will continue to be all of these things. Reading it makes it solidify in my mind.

This is not a nostalgic post, but there are 33 days til I graduate and in all reality start a "new phase" of life. At least one that doesn't include undergraduate classes or living in a dorm! I have felt odd and pressured about graduate school, getting a job, getting married, what the implications of doing or not doing these things may look like and all the while trying to figure out what being 22 means. I don't have to know. I have applied to graduate school. I have a job for a semester. I have an apartment for 6-months. I am happily dating Devon and we have talked long and hard about our options. Now it's time to just live each day. A friend of mine recently asked, "When did I start planning life instead of living it?" Great question. Here's to living!

+keep the light on in the window for the time that i am gone

Dear loyal friends, blog-followers, family, whomsoever,
I apologize for my brief (yet I doubt torturous) silence in the blogging world. These past few weeks have made me laugh at my own inability to predict the way of the world. I figured this semester would be so low-key and easy beacause of my light class load and light leadership load. However, I forgot that between applying to graduate schools, taking the GRE, visiting graduate schools, visiting home, other fun visits, conferences, job-related busyness, friendships, being a freshmen RA, and looking for an apartment, I am quite a bit exhausted. All good exhaustion, but it happens, and I should have predicted it. Next month at this time I should be signed onto a lease, about to graduate, and planning another adventure or two. Posting more later. Of course. But for now, here are events that have happened as of late in picture form (Crush Party, Auburn University visit, Big-Little reveal, Phi Tau Semi-Formal).... and to come: AST Retreat, University of Kansas visit, and Thanksgiving!