have you ever woken up with a pit in your stomach and thought if you had done your whole life differently that you might be a more fulfilled human being? i pray to God that i am not settling. lately i feel like i am. i know how to be good at what i do. i know how to be consistent and loyal and to think of little things to do. i know how to accomplish my school work and i know how to be an effective member of an organization. but sometimes i just get really tired of giving and oh no here i admit it, need someone to reciprocate....and then some.
reciprocating is synonymous with paying back. i don't want to be paid back.
i did that for you because i love you.
i want you to do something different. love me better than i love you.
or at least differently.
love me enough to think of me.
love me enough to spend your free time thinking of how to surprise me.
occasionally.
i'm not demanding.
just disappointed, tired, and stepping back. that's all.
i care more. i always have. and it looks like i always will.
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