even the stars hideaway...
the biggest thing i think i need to work on is not hiding. i like my little escapes into my mind. why not? it's quiet there. most of the time. and no one is allowed to come in. it's like by being quiet i have locked myself in a little room in my mind and that somehow comforts me.
...yesterday when you were young everything you needed done was done for you
now you do it on your own, but you find you're all alone, what can you do?...
but it's not okay. in fact, i realized this break that it is so unhealthy i'm surprised i didn't catch its crippling effects earlier. i realize now that i am not an expert at this life i lead and locking myself away just makes me re-circulate the same thoughts over and over and i do not allow fresh ideas to get into my space. so i need to start opening some windows at least. even if i don't take the lock off the door.
...no amount of coffee, no amount of crying, no amount of whiskey, no amount of wine, no, nothing else will do, i've gotta have you, i've gotta have you...
so in an effort to have a semblance of a new years' resolution, i would like to start to let people in more. let people see me more. in this way, maybe i will become a little more confident, a little more happy with myself, because who i am has a chance to be validated by others.
...all it takes is a little faith and a lot of heart, sweetheart.
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