I have not blogged much this year. Most of that is due to my recent move to a lovely apartment sans the internet and cable so luxuriously included at Belmont University.
I also have been struggling through on my own and with some close friends about the reality of being done with college and the loneliness that comes with it. I didn't really think I would feel alone. I think a month ago if you would ask me how I would feel about January I would say that I would be sitting around reveling in my independent glory and basking in the warmth and happiness of friends and free-time. Don't get me wrong, I love watching through the first season of glee, movies, cooking and baking, and not really having much on my plate. But I've got to stop being stubborn and admit it's a pretty big transition and it's okay that it isn't going as smoothly as I expected.
That being said, all I've been thinking about lately is the power that anonymity brings. I'm sure this is directly related to not knowing the people around me in my new apartment complex (and how the power that anonymity has on my anxiety) but it spills into other areas as well. I have noticed how much more aggressive I am in a car where no one knows me and how others do the same. Or at work how people become jerks or manipulative through their e-mail correspondence. I know that I use it too. In college it was such a vibrant community where most everyone knew most everyone, correspondence was mostly done in the classroom or face-to-face and I could go a week without driving my car. Now it's all becoming a little more day-to-day and it is fascinating to me.
I just need some prayers thrown my way and my own continued commitment to facing situations head on. Happy Back-to-School time!
2 comments:
Don't worry... you're not alone. My time in Nashville was some of the most lonely times in my life. I had a roommate that I rarely saw and didn't have many close friends. However, I can tell you it will get better! Especially if you start getting involved in a church and start making relationships and friends there. Most of my close friends that live in the same city as me are in my church. We have begun to have lunch together since several of us work downtown and also have random game nights and fun events. It takes a little more effort to have friends after college, but it's well worth it. And plus, you still are near at least a few friends from college! :) So be encouraged, dear friend. Keep thinking positive thoughts and seek out relationships. You are loved.
Thanks Amanda, I needed that. Baby steps, but your words were helpful. Much love.
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