+but now she won't be coming back with the rest, if these are life's lessons she'll take this test

((Like Dixie Chicks or not, it's just too appropriate right now. And those harmonies!))

Who doesn't know what I'm talking about....

This is the week that I've been dreaming about for so long now! The one that includes moving out west. The one that includes following my dreams and desires and heading towards a place that feels like home and where my mind and heart has been slowing wrapping around as the months progress. The place where I get to do what I love and have my mind rocked by the enormity of a state school and the regional differences that come with a brand new state.

 
Who's never left home, who's never struck out, to find a dream and a life of their own. A place in the clouds, a foundation of stone.

But... leave it to life for every moment to be bittersweet. My sweet boyfriend visited this past weekend to go to a wedding with me. Spending time with him after being at a distance for just a couple of weeks was just so genuinely precious. From laughing to long talks to the wedding and dinner with friends to just being ourselves and being with each other. I felt that same feeling when you're playing with your best friend in elementary school and you see your mom drive up to pick you up. You beg and plea for one more hour, one more game, just a little longer. As we walked outside to his car yesterday (with our next time together one-on-one unknown) I had this rush of emotions - remembering all the many memories that brought us to this very new crossroads. Sentimental? Meaningful? Whatever the cause the tears in my eyes as we hugged again just made my whole body have this heavy lead weighty feeling. Then the car drove away, out of sight, and I turned around and headed back to my front door. Back to my house. But very changed inside. Who knew this would feel like that. But then I was flooded with Kindall time. And Sharon and Henry time. And Sarah time. And I realized this isn't the end of things. It truly is just another beginning on a long life journey of beginnings and endings. And while physical closeness is ideal, emotional support, encouragement, growth, and change are all so good too.

Many precede and many will follow. A young girl's dream no longer hollow. It takes a shape of a place out west. But what it holds for her, she hasn't guessed yet. She needs wide open spaces. Room to make her big mistakes. She needs new faces. She knows the high stakes.

She knows the high stakes.