Kelsey reminded me the other day that identifying yourself as a runner isn't' something you do overnight. Identity is developed and it takes a while to live into the title. After she mentioned it, I started to think about when I decided I was a runner - timely as I sit three days out from running my second marathon.
Surely running regularly over the course of a year or more signifies you're a runner. Or buying five or more running shoes within the year. Or maybe it's the gear - running shorts, the armband, the water bottle attached to the wrist gadget. Maybe it's reading the blogs or talking about it. Maybe, but I don't think so.
To be honest, I still don't exactly feel like a runner. Not most days. That may sound odd, but as I've told some of you that read this, training for a long distance race means three weekdays of running and one long run on the weekend. Calculate that out? 3 days a week where I sit around (okay, sometimes I lift weights, go to pilates or go on a bike ride, but not all that regularly). I know logically that going on long runs every weekend is not what everyone does, but it has become such a part of my life, that it feels sort of... normal. Like I assume everyone does it too. Not in a haughty way, but in the same way you assume everyone you know takes hot showers, has air conditioning, or has enough money to eat. When you're doing something regularly, it becomes second nature. You can get used to anything, can't you?
Is this where identity kicks in? You're studying all the time and going to class and that is your normal so you are suddenly a self-identified student. You have a big party, invite all your friends and family, sign a legal document and now you self-identify as married. Some things may be black and white, I guess - like motherhood, marriage, or age. But some things seem gray - like adulthood, expert-status... oh, I feel like I'm babbling.
Maybe it doesn't ever matter if I self-identify as a runner. I think in most people's eyes I am. It's just a curious topic. And all I can think about is this marathon. Man, I'm ready to get to the start line already... because I'm a runner.
1 comment:
i can relate to your musings here on identity. it's a funny, elusive thing. But it seems like identity starts on the inside rather than the outside. you didn't just start buying the gear and all of a sudden want to go running. the gear followed your heart. i think it's the same way with being a student, married, adult, etc. You kind of cross mental/emotional/heart barriers where you feel it as part of your DNA, and you miss those things when they're not around. I don't know, but in our posed, picture perfect culture where we manage our online selves so much, I think identity is and always will be more about the passions of our heart and where those lead. so yes, you ARE a runner!
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