+this is real long distance, a real long distance call

Current location? Outside the Kansas Union. Hanging out on Jayhawk Blvd. on a lovely Summer evening. I am quite happy with my sweet little apartment. I have now officially met my staff and have been enjoying their company for the evening.

But man, I never knew leaving Nashville would be so difficult on me. I've left countless times before - trips, vacations, you name it. But this time was different. As my closest friends all sat around a table at one of our favorite places to eat in Nashville and talked and laughed, a large pit in my stomach formed. I knew that in a matter of moments someone would say we needed to go, and indeed, we did. I still had 10 more hours to drive and they all had their respective places to go and lives to live.

As I realized that the goodbyes were beginning, My body began to shake and reject it. I just couldn't get over the fact that for the first time in my life I was leaving a place and people that I truly did not want to leave. You would think this was how going off to college was for me, but it definitely was not. When I went off to college it was the climax of  my then-life. I dived in without looking or thinking or, sometimes, I feel like without breathing.

So I got in the car and sobbed myself onto I-440 and I-40 and finally to I-24, westbound. My poor mom had to listen to it and graciously offered to drive more than one time. And I would sit up taller and say I was okay, and then I would sink back onto my steering wheel and know that I was not.

And then I realized the adventure I was embarking on and vowed to not allow myself to be blind to it. So I was good! I was excited! I was putting more and more miles between my emotions and me. But low and behold, bodies are made to deal with things aren't they? So, like I was breaking up with Nashville, I had bouts of feeling excited and bouts of breaking down.

The next morning I awoke excited to finally drive the remaining hours to get to my new home in a new city and meet new people. A shower and a hot breakfast and a lot of prayer and I was driving again. This time, onto the campus of my new work and classes.

And the rest is history. This week is flying by and the more I learn the more I love. More to update. Just know that the next 18 days of training I'm sure will take me on a roller coaster of growth ... and THEN I start classes... :)

+a fitness blog?

So back in April I decided to get more serious about fitness. I had been going to Belmont's gym and attending Pilates classes and Yoga classes and even the occasional Step class. But, after a while of hearing from a friend named Shandus about how great BeachBody products and programs were, I decided - eh, what can it hurt? BeachBody is the same company that makes the ever-infamous P90X, but I decided to start with ChaLean Extreme.

I'm not going to lie - the site looks way hokey. Too many testimonials, too much energy. I just felt like I was being marketed to. But, despite all the hype, I decided to trust Shandus knew what she was talking about.

I started and made my calendars and changed my eating habits a little bit (but honestly, not that much... I'm so stubborn when it comes to food.) But the couple of changes I made: following the workouts faithfully, eating every 2-3 hours, eating more protein, fruits and veggies and trying (as much as possible) to cut back on just eating carbs all day long (lover of bread right here!).

So as the days progressed, I felt an overwhelming boost of energy. And honestly, that was enough for me. The scale wasn't changing, but I was feeling stronger. I could carry heavier things for longer. I noticed my form in picking up things being better. The little daily boosts of "I'm improving" drove me along. I took the DVDs to Colorado and to Disney World and now to Birmingham. I have made my friends Kelly and LJ do the workouts with me and it's no secret to any of my close friends that I love it and will sell it too!

SOOO I figured I owed a blog posting to all of those who know me well to post my results! Being that I'm 5'0 and not entirely in horrible shape to begin with, these results make me happy, if not drastic :)

Numbers:
Waist: 3 inches lost
Hips: 3 inches lost
Weight: 2 lbs lost (and I sure hope I got a lot of muscle!)
% Body fat: 4% less
 Height: Ohhp, still 5'0... don't you wish there was a way to gain or lose height?

Picture:

What's next? Well. I love building muscle. I am eating more OFTEN than ever and just more FOOD than ever. I would like to keep working towards eating better. As far as fitness goes, I am going to do another round of ChaLean extreme to keep working on all the things I've been working on, with maybe even more fun cross-training this time around :)

+but now she won't be coming back with the rest, if these are life's lessons she'll take this test

((Like Dixie Chicks or not, it's just too appropriate right now. And those harmonies!))

Who doesn't know what I'm talking about....

This is the week that I've been dreaming about for so long now! The one that includes moving out west. The one that includes following my dreams and desires and heading towards a place that feels like home and where my mind and heart has been slowing wrapping around as the months progress. The place where I get to do what I love and have my mind rocked by the enormity of a state school and the regional differences that come with a brand new state.

 
Who's never left home, who's never struck out, to find a dream and a life of their own. A place in the clouds, a foundation of stone.

But... leave it to life for every moment to be bittersweet. My sweet boyfriend visited this past weekend to go to a wedding with me. Spending time with him after being at a distance for just a couple of weeks was just so genuinely precious. From laughing to long talks to the wedding and dinner with friends to just being ourselves and being with each other. I felt that same feeling when you're playing with your best friend in elementary school and you see your mom drive up to pick you up. You beg and plea for one more hour, one more game, just a little longer. As we walked outside to his car yesterday (with our next time together one-on-one unknown) I had this rush of emotions - remembering all the many memories that brought us to this very new crossroads. Sentimental? Meaningful? Whatever the cause the tears in my eyes as we hugged again just made my whole body have this heavy lead weighty feeling. Then the car drove away, out of sight, and I turned around and headed back to my front door. Back to my house. But very changed inside. Who knew this would feel like that. But then I was flooded with Kindall time. And Sharon and Henry time. And Sarah time. And I realized this isn't the end of things. It truly is just another beginning on a long life journey of beginnings and endings. And while physical closeness is ideal, emotional support, encouragement, growth, and change are all so good too.

Many precede and many will follow. A young girl's dream no longer hollow. It takes a shape of a place out west. But what it holds for her, she hasn't guessed yet. She needs wide open spaces. Room to make her big mistakes. She needs new faces. She knows the high stakes.

She knows the high stakes.

+train wheels beating, the wind in my eyes

I've been cookin' up a storm since I've been home. Lets be honest, lots of time, really new and nice kitchen gear, yep, it's like the kitchen has just been asking me to use it.

I wish I would have saved the Greek Chicken Pita recipe or taken a picture, but alas, I only saved the leftovers picture:

Last night I used this recipe: http://simplyrecipes.com/recipes/twice_baked_potatoes/ and mine looked like this:

Tonight I used: http://www.cookingforengineers.com/recipe/81/Oven-Baked-Chicken-and-Rice: (and yes that's super fresh local zuccini!):

And who doesn't love some Oatmeal-Chocolate cookies!?

Yea for home cooking! Literally!

+you think after 22 years i'd be used to the spin

June has been crazy and back!

Some of the highlights of the month (picture/list form):

(End of May...)
1. Travelled to Denver, CO and Colorado Springs, CO for some LJ time and Erinn & David's wedding!

2. Summer Orientation at Belmont

3. Katie and Garrett's Wedding

4. Pictures from Kristine (mentioned in last blog... still very much love them)

5. Disney World with the Family

5. Visiting Beth & Drew in Louisville

6. Packing up everything I own

7. My last real hang outs with my favorite people in Nashville

8. Moving home to Birmingham

+appreciating

Just wanting to post here to give Kristine Neeley a huge round of applause and just say how blessed I am to know her. There aren't really enough words, so here's some of her work, and a link to her blog. Thank you Kristine :) www.kristineneeley.com/blog

+has the world changed? or is it you that has changed?

When I was in Spiritual Formations class my last semester of college we talked so much about rhythm - rhythm of the Christian church, rhythm of nature/seasons, of relationships, of emotions, and so many other things. I love the rhythm of life and I am so excited to have a more defined rhythm as I begin my August and onward journey in a new state. But until then, I feel a bit out of sorts, or like I'm not really in a rhythm, but instead a series of mismatched events all are taking place in a couple short weeks.

I am loving what is happening here. Having Laurajean in town and in my apartment made me feel so blessed to have friends who feel like family. Going to a perfectly fantastic wedding here in Nashville full of people in attendance who I love being around. Getting the chance to really take in the last few weeks with people who have changed me spiritually, emotionally, and professionally. It's so weird to think of change, but so good too.

I am about to head to Disney World (told you... mismatched) with my parents and Dad's side of the family. What a weird week out of the ongoing Belmont Orientation events that I've been helping out with. I hope it will be a good relaxing and fun time and time to just think and reflect. Then I'll be back, packing up, finishing up, heading to Louisville, headed home and wedding sesason: birmingham edition will begin. Then packing all up again and Mom and Heather roadtrip to KU will begin.

Maybe this season is all part of the bigger rhythm. I like to think so :)

+i know the dog days of the summer have you ten to one outnumbered

I have always been a dog person and after just a couple days of watching Maddie, I think I'll always and forever be a dog person.

But maybe my dog loving is sort of... well, selfish. If I really think about it, what do I love about dogs? I love that I am the center of their universe. They love me for all the things I do (food, water, attention, petting) but also for all the things that I don't even try to do (being in the same room, being around, driving them places that I'm going already).

Maddie doesn't get bored with me. Sure, she may wander away to find food or a stick or a toy, but the minute I stir, get up, walk across the room, flip the page in my book, type on the computer, she is attentive and concerned in the matter. Not to mention, she is always ready for an adventure. I've never decided to go walk around the yard or go somewhere when Maddie has told me she's too busy or she'd rather not. Nope, arthritis and all, she wants to walk next to my heels and explore with me. She makes me feel like what I'm doing is the most important part of her day. All the time. Consistency. Loyalty. Isn't this what we're all looking for in another person?

She completely ignores the ugly parts of my personality. She'd still look at me and smile that sweet golden retriever smile despite my messy hair and morning breath. She doesn't care if I'm crying or singing, she'll sit in my lap and pant and be perfectly content to be with me. She doesn't get bitter when I leave for longer than expected. She doesn't care if I wake her up in the middle of the night. She doesn't hold a grudge when I promise to do something with her and then don't follow through.

If all I have to give in return is a little grace for dog-breath, drool, and the occasional scratch, then it's worth it. Because, to have that kind of friend is something that I dream of - that we all dream of. And to be that kind of friend? Well, I'm pretty sure I'll be working at that for the better part of my life.

+if life is one big symphony don't play your part too caustiously, let your fingers make mistakes, the crowd will love you for being brave

(Mostly written to myself, to remind myself) I need to take the time to be perceptive. If someone tells me something they're doing, I need to take the time to process, ask questions, and log it away. I need to actually RESPOND to the world around me and not just efficitently deal with it. These are very different modes of living (and I'm much better trained in the dealing part).

"The beat came from my engine's ping / The sleepy owls arranged the strings / The bass was plucked out by the breeze / All of us in perfect harmony / Sometimes it's just that easy." -Her Space Holiday

+i am still an option that you have

Have I mentioned lately how good it will be to blog once again I have Internet in the evenings and just not the work day? Glory. I love you, little macbook. I cannot wait to make you feel meaningful again.