hello? anyone there?
the only thing that reminds me that hundreds of students used to live at belmont is the trash, the piles of old, worn out things that can be found at every corner of campus. welcome to limbo...the time between spring term/graduation and summer term. i like the quiet. i do. but it's eerie at times. i moved myself in to kennedy hall last night. it took so long. so many trips. a far cry from freshman move-in day or even just having my parents there. but at the same time, i felt very capable. i'm impressed that i was able to do it all. my back hurts today, understandably, but it's a small price to pay.
what a weekend of emotions. people leaving. good conversations. new friendships forming, old friendships catching up, saying goodbye to my staff, saying hello to a new job, airport ventures, a flat tire, a needed conversation, and consistent, good friends.
the consistent question on my mind lately: who do i trust? it's easier to fly solo. it's easier to live life alone. to journal. to blog. to do whatever it is i find comfort in doing, and never letting another person get to know me. my biggest problem and fear is that when i finally do learn to trust fully, i'll have trusted the wrong person. i'll have made a mistake. i'll have committed too soon, too fast, and without enough clarity. yet i also like to live quickly. i like to have a mysteriously exciting adventure. who's telling me the truth? i can't live like this? i'm getting mixed advice. but who's advice is the most valuable? the person who's been there for me? the person who sees it from a different perspective? the person who i connect well with? the person who i know is a source of wisdom for others? the person who just listens? who's right? who do i trust?
great switchfoot lyric, "Grow, grow where you are--anchor your roots underneath. Doubt your doubts, and believe your beliefs."
can we talk about how much that's just screaming, "wherever you are, be fully there.... and live with abandon."
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