+i belong with you, you belong with me, you're my sweetheart

I redesigned the blog this week. I am always redesigning it when I feel like there's enough life change to warrant it.

I also... for the first time in 5 years... changed the title of the blog. There have been lots of times in the past few months (where I feel like a large chapters of my life have ended and where new ones are emerging) that I have felt that maybe this blog, too, should close. But, I love it. I love that when I'm in a down mood, I can read back through the past year, two years, heck, back to the beginning of college, and be moved at how far my life has come in those years - relationships, jobs, events, transformations. So it's staying put. I also have wondered if Devon and I should have a mutual catch-you-up-on-us blogs, but it's not for me. I am me. I am a gal who is constantly comparing myself to others (and I know I shouldn't!) and who needs a little space to just be myself. And compare myself to where I've been. And while I know we'll have a journey of our own, I will never stop being myself. And I want this blog to reflect that .

The rhythm in my life is stabilizing. We made headway on wedding plans, I am learning how to cook, and there is farmer's fresh milk in my fridge.

I still am wrestling with being fully myself. I can blame it on working at my alma mater - a place I grew into the person I am today, but surrounded by people who have seen me through my awkward stages. I can blame it on a need to have others' approval and acceptance. I can blame it on my over-analytical brain or on my lack of self-confidence. But, regardless of where the blame is (points finger at self) it is a reality I'm struggling with and leaning on others to help me navigate.

I am excited to see how this blog change and all the many life changes will intersect. Congratulations readers... this blog has no end in sight!

+may your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground - carry on

I am so fond of birthdays.  It's Sarah's 23rd birthday and I had to miss 21 and 22 due to being in Kansas. Beyond happy to get to be here this year! What a wonderful woman and a wonderful day - I love how smiley she was in every photo I have. So much love. I hope she feels it!

+you're always holding onto stars, I think they're better from afar

"I knew there'd come a day when all was said and done,
And everything I want is everything but gone.
All my big mistakes are bouncing off your wall.
The bottles never break, the sun will never come.
So come on let me in, I will be the sun.
I will wake you up, I'll move slow.
Just open your heart, open up your heart, open up your heart.

I was out on the town, so I came to your window last night.
I tried not to throw stones, but I wanted to come inside."

Today is the first day of classes at Belmont. For the first time since I started as a Kindergartener in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, I'm not on any teacher's roster. I am not heading to any bookstore to purchase books. I'm not double checking balances-due and figuring out if I have the binders and pens and essentials to go back to school. Call it familiarity or call it my security blanket, but I miss it. I know that I'll be back in the classroom one more go around, but for now, it's about supporting the countless students I am lucky to work with in their journeys through another academic year. I am wrestling with so many areas of life these months. Today is also 3 months since I began working at Belmont. I am still settling in a million senses of the phrase. Devon always jokes that our 30's are going to be the best years of our lives. He may be dead on about that. Just like at the end of June, I have a list of topics that I keep jotting in the margins of my notebooks of things I want to write more fully on, but alas, time is so elusive.

Bullet points of life:

• I am up to 16 miles in my marathon training. This coming week is an 18 miler. It's so funny how far bodies can come - (my first 18 mile run). This time in training, I've sustained no injuries. No lingering soreness. I have been eating much better (and much more). I have been stretching, going to personal training for strength conditioning, and the accumulation of running over the past year has made my so much stronger. The Chicago Marathon is in 6 weeks. 
• Kelsey is coming in 5 weeks to experience Nashville (and the Southeast in general) for the first time! She is a grad school kindred-spirit and knowing I get to hear her Minnesotan accent and be around her for a couple of days in TN makes my heart smile.
• I am experiencing womanly guilt because since June I have done no wedding planning. At all. And keep getting asked how wedding planning is going. I don't know, guys. I know we need food. And addresses. And I should sit down and plan. But right now it's much more fun to make dinners together, go on long walks, talk about life, and watch mindless TV show series. 
• I haven't gotten to see my family or friends lately because of the crazy Summer that is nearly passed. It is so ironic that moving back to the city I know and love and that is chock full of people who know me better than anyone would be so absent from my life when my geographical location couldn't be more accessible. Growing up isn't always as glamorous as it seems. Sometimes you can be employed, engaged, and stable... and yet, still feel lonely.
• My job is keeping me on my toes! I am loving the ability to fully commit my mind to one job instead of balancing school and work. It's a blessing that Cody used to always tell me was one I should look forward to. I didn't understand him until now!

+and we've come so far, too far to be so far apart

"Don't let the things you hold on to ever outnumber the things you let go.

Don't let the things you remember ever outnumber the things you live for."

-Josh Ritter, "Tokyo!"

It has been a lovely week and tonight I got to pick up two dear friends from the airport back from their honeymoon. They were so giddy and content - they were finishing each other's sentences, telling story after story of their crazy adventures. The energy they had at the end of a long trip, albeit their honeymoon, was contagious and exciting. The groom lovingly looked at his bride and smiled and it was all just so great to take in- I am so happy to be able to be back in town for moments like this. And there is something about creating new memories that makes me suddenly okay with all that I left behind. I miss people so badly it hurts a lot of days - you cannot recreate that sort of friendship and camaraderie overnight. But there is so much to live for in the here and now - babies and marriages and church and new relationships. I always said it took me 2-3 months to transition... 

+so why do I worry? why do I freak out? God knows what I need; You know what I need

I cannot remember the last weekend where my plans were to stay in Nashville and take it easy. This weekend has been one of those and I was pretty good about documenting it with my iPhone. What a lovely, lovely rest.

A remarkably beautiful Friday dawn

A homemade wreath with flowers from the Dellinger wedding

New desk and fixed computer before heading to Monica's house

Rise and shine, early 13 mile run Saturday before meeting Kristine for lunch

Sam's Pub and Dragon park with Devon after seeing The Dark Knight Rises

Playing with the fiance

Stocked fridge for Mexican dinner night with the Harms' post-church

Lazy Sunday mornings catching the Journal up on life as of late

Olympics app? Oh yes.

+you make beautiful things

Oh dear, what a long-anticipated weekend! Kelly and Drew are married at last and enjoying a (hopefully) restful and luxurious honeymoon in Cancun and Mexico. Lucky birds. I loved being able to be a part of Kelly's side of the weekend and am beyond excited to talk about details and thoughts post-wedding.

at the Bachelorette with LJ!

Rehearsal dinner at Front Porch Farms, with the Devon

Morning-of!

So so happy, last hour as Miss Stack

Reception!

Devon's height perspective at the reception with the lovely Alicia

+it's a long life, only one last chance-couldn't get much better, do you wanna dance?

It took so long to get here. Lonely nights, studying non-stop, working harder than I knew was imaginable. Oh, and how worth it!! Sitting next to good friends and my sweet Devon and taking it all in... How easily we forget the tumultuous 24 months of skyping and texting and paper-writing and heartache. I think it's easy to move on and forget, but I need to live in daily acknowledgement of how far we have come and keep the reality alive. Deep appreciation. And sweet relief.

+we can't stop, we can't stop, moving forward

Anddddd we're back! Orientation is officially over at Belmont University until August. The boxes are packed and stored. Invoices are paid and decorations are all down across campus. 8 sessions later and I couldn't be more proud of the student leaders that welcomed me in as their leader for the May and June. What a blessing. And the lessons I have learned in such a short time have been worth the sleep deprivation and hectic days. "...Welcome to Belmont!"

I am just bookending what is my first full week of my real-year-round-full-time-gig as a Residence Director here and it's been such a difference in pace. HR videos and trainings and paperwork. Much different than the frenetic nature of orienting students and families! I am a jumble of being-engaged, being-a-new-resident, being-out-of-grad-school gal and my thoughts and my words are often lost on me.

My thoughts on post-grad so far. In the most brain-dumped-into-words manner:

Totem poles and being young and starting over and fish ponds and the size of fish and appreciation and teachable moments. Insecurities and faking confidence and wondering what is said behind closed doors. Late nights, new bonds, working out old kinks. Storytelling, polished, and eloquent. Figured out but still in progress. Blessed beyond all measure, arrived, accomplished. Broken, terrified, small. Innovative, fresh, big-hearted.

More to come. Oh, so much more to come!

The Summer thus far:

Decorations in the Student Life Center

Prepping for nightly Fiestas

Last day energy!

+she took the midnight train going anywhere

Change of pace post! I have an intense processing post in the 'pending' section, but I opted for a more lighthearted post tonight. (And if you work with me or live in Nashville, I apologize that what you're about to see is a spoiler for seeing me soon!)

Over the past year I've gotten into reading fashion blogs. I started with What Would a Nerd Wear and then transpired into what is now 20+ fashion blogs on my google reader.

In that vein, I did some power-work-clothes shopping at the outlets this weekend and figured I'd share!

I went in with a firm budget and came out with 17 new pieces and also found Devon several things and stayed under budget!

Here are the basics (plus tanks you don't see). Notice how great they are to mix and match - can't wait to put them together with clothes I already have!



Banana Republic Outlet: white sweater, lace navy top, purple silk top, orange swearer, lace white top, lace/denim skirt, magenta sweater, tan knit sweater, green dress.

Ann Taylor Factory Store: navy tank silk layers, polka dotted shirt with longer sleeves

Gap Outlet: dark wash jeans, navy blue skirt (and Devon's khakis, polo, fitted shirt)

Famous Footwear: Dr Scholl's tan wedges (so comfortable!)

I feel like a new woman! I think the green dress is my favorite so far. Cheers to working!

+you make me feel good, you make me feel safe

I should write tomorrow, but I've been itching to write for weeks and tonight as I plopped down on my couch at 11:45pm after another long day of orientation, I realized that the processor in me wouldn't let me sleep until I could write out my thoughts.

We are in full swing orienting the class of 2016 to Belmont University (and maybe some c/o '15 and '14 in there too)! We have 8 iterations of orientation throughout the month of June and these past two weeks we have completed 5 of them (if you count tomorrow in that). I am officially flying solo and putting that hard earned M.S.E. to work!

While I have yet to spend a weekend in Nashville (wedding season, Birmingham and Evansville editions), I have managed to acquire a bookshelf, bed, couch, table, chairs, entertainment center, TV, and a bike.

In my running world, I started marathon training at the beginnng of last week (Chicago!).

Kelsey booked a flight to come to Nashville! And while all this is enough of an update, today was something of a historic day for me.

Like I said I'm flying solo leading the Orientation Council and our days begin early. This week was our longest week and, being Thursday, we were all feeling it. This morning we began at 6:45am. We circle up to check in, update one another, pray, and head out. (That feels like days ago at this point!) We registered 200 students and their guests and put on programs and presentations all day long. At lunch I spent time with a family from Southern Florida. At the parent reception? Folks from Arizona and Northern Indiana. I learned more in depth backgrounds of my student staff and managed to give warm smiles and patient directions to countless new students (where does that energy come from? God is good). I led a campus clues presentation after dinner, watched students form their own music circle on the quad after advising sessions, and helped put on a late night food and music mixer. Devon came by to show his sweet support and our staff, while tired, still put on an excellent dance show.

Days like these (the full ones) are so wonderful and so exhausting. I rode my new bike to and from work and spent so many steps around campus reflecting on this day but also all the days that led to this one.

My own Belmont experience seems so long ago, but so meaningful. Somewhere between the hugs, connections, directions, explanations, walks, talks, problem solving, and communicating, I realized that I do what I do because I LOVE this time of life. I love that four years in college can change someone far more than four years normally do. I love that transition is so hard and so rewarding. I love the potential and excitement that new students exude. I love being able to be in a place that fosters exploration and growth for my career. What a day, what a week... What a special month this is.